“It’s all about me!” Battle cry of a generation. Make that, every generation. You don’t have to teach selfishness; it comes natural. Ever notice small children learning to speak? One of the first words mastered is “Mine!”
Psychologists refer to unrestrained selfishness as Narcissism. Defined, it is the inability to view life through any one else’s perspective other than one’s own. Everything revolves around me and I will turn every person or situation to my advantage. Nothing is ever my fault, and if I have any difficulty, it is certainly a personal injustice. The term originates from Greek mythology where the figure Narcissus became so enamored gazing into a pool at his own image, he fell in!
Theologians prefer another term, “Self”. Scripture refers to the “old nature” or “flesh” in this regard. The bottom line is God is not on the Throne; I am. That is the essence of sin. God states twice in Isaiah, “I will not give my glory to another”. That means “me”.
Let’s move beyond pop psychology to faith. I submit there is no shortage of present “Spiritual Narcissism”. First, Biblically anyone who has not been regenerated by the Holy Spirit (a.k.a “Born Again” John 3) is living ultimately for self. Thus, the default spiritual disposition is narcissistic. Not good. However, at this point I do not need to bemoan the liabilities of being spiritually dead (which the Bible says all are until made alive in Christ). Let’s move on to a more sinister sin. I further submit some believers still practice Spiritual Narcissism! The old nature is not content to co-exist with the Spirit. Romans tells us the two are diametrically opposed. Thus, if a believer tries to live half fish and half fowl, they usually end up all foul.
Keep thinking. One trait of Narcissism is a facade of benevolence. Such a person will do something that on the surface appears magnanimous, but upon further reflection is shown actually be to skillfully leveraged to their advantage. Some Christians serve the Lord, but in essence with the motive to feel better about themselves! They give, because it makes them feel good. They serve, because of the joy it brings. That’s fine, except the ultimate rationale for doing anything for the Lord is His glory, period. Not the benefit we stand to gain for having done it. I Corinthians 3:10-15 says it better than I just have. I’ll give an example. Twenty years ago I preached about the difference between being a care giver and a needy care giver. The latter serves because they have an insatiable need to be needed. Narcissism.
Jesus, as He always did, had his finger on the pulse of this endemic human condition. He answered that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength.” A Narcissist practices only self love. When we have His priorities in place, we find our perfect place.
Jesus did not intend that we loath ourselves. Once again, He said, “The second command is to love your neighbor as yourself”. A Spiritual Narcissist cannot do that, only someone who has surrendered their heart to the loving Lord Jesus Christ. That is how you meet the Narcissist lurking in you head on. Galatians 2:20 among other passages speak of the radical transformation of self only possible at the cross. When one finds that extraordinary freedom and fulfillment in Christ, then their heart resonates with Paul when he penned, “For me to live is Christ!” Then and forevermore, it’s no longer all about me, rather it’s all about Him!
